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We're All Going to Die (In Paris)

from Looking For Horses by Kesia Nagata

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lyrics

I'll wait here, you go to work, & when you're home we can see which way the wind blows. We can walk through Belleville at sundown, check the view & feel like heroes. Or meet your friends & drink too much, watch the sky grow dark as it's lit up by the city, dance all night, sleep on the couch, find our way back home through pigeon shit on Sunday.
Being here with you is like keeping my eyes open in the salty wind on the prow of a fast boat; staying wide awake letting worlds end, hearts break, staggering through mine fields with the radio on.
This city makes me crazy, it's a midden heap of old bones & harsh opinions (oh the money and the shame), & the pulsing airless metro that burns under these streets like so many ravaged arteries & veins. Ancient monuments to a terrifying god; you fought a bar fight beneath a glowing cathedral. All the altitudes & angles, gilded angels' tombs, heads rolling, panties flashing in the dense and sweaty brawl.
Being here with you is like keeping my eyes open in the salty wind on the prow of a fast boat; staying wide awake letting worlds end, hearts break, staggering through mine fields with the radio on.
"Courage," you roar, "throw yourself in, follow through & finish what you start. The same laws of physics apply here, the same molecules compose us even thousands of miles away, even naked in the dark."
Being here with you is like watching helpless as you break your back lifting Moloch to the sky; staying wide awake as my world breaks over and over and over and we're all gonna die!
But when we dance you are light as cigarette smoke & seagulls & suddenly I know: freedom & grief are two sides of the same coin; the getting low, the letting go. You kids got something sweeter and more sacred than you could know in these cobblestone streets. But if this is it, if this is the place to be, then why do you dream of the cold, wild sea?
Being here with you is like keeping my eyes open in the salty wind on the prow of a fast boat; staying wide awake letting worlds end, hearts break, staggering through mine fields with the radio on.

credits

from Looking For Horses, released December 28, 2017

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Kesia Nagata Hazelton, British Columbia

Kesia is a BC-based singer-songwriter who sings about trees, death, horses, and the unbearable enormousness of existence, among other important things.

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